Relationships

Why do people have to feel heartaches? To make us stronger.

I know more than anything what I want in life now and I will not let anyone get in my way.

I'm a selfish bitch but If I don't think of me who will?

I am not trying to justify what I did but I know this time I did something right.

A relationship to me is supposed to;

Bring out the best in YOU and not restrict you in any way

Be a relaxed, calm and fulfilling life experience

Have no fear.

Next time, when I am ready to be in a relationship(2-3 years from now), I shall look back on this post and make sure it fits all 3 criteria.

It's all about growing up and thinking straight, but I will miss the laughter, the silliness, the trips, the pampering and of course you.

Is it just me?

Do you know how hard it is to do side braids?!!

I don't know if it's just me, but even though they look easy to do on the web it's kind of tricky! And where the hell is my moody-over sensitive-hormonal sister? Cepat la habis SPM.

Look at you flashing your dazzling white teeth.Don't impress me much.Na-ah..

(this is exceptionally hard to do)

Don't you give me that face Lauren! I am coordinated enough to do my own braids just not the ones that are neat, on the side of your head and look like yours.I'll need an extra pair of hands and i'm not afraid to admit it.

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Imagine this

So today I am going to blog about this 7 year old girl who has schizophrenia because back when I was in high school, I was determined to become a psychologist. Yes, you know the doctor who treats/talk to cuckoo people. That idea stuck with me until pre-uni. I was, at that time, oblivious to the fact that it was nearly impossible for me to become one because I had to be extremely good in my Science subjects.Undergo the whole Medic course.That was a big hell-NO for me. 5-10 years of your life bound to 3-5 inch books.Na-ah!

But anyway, this story about Jani, I thought I'd just give my 2cents about it.

Basically Jani is a 7 year old girl who has Schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a mental illness that usually happens to adult and rarely if non at all happen to children. If you are a schizophrenic, you'd be having hallucinations and dementia. You would see something that isn't there and believe that it is.You would be thinking that someone or something is out to get you and you;d have to obliged to every single word that something/someone says for you to do or ELSE you would get hurt. Schizophrenia is very harmful to others as schizophrenics tend to get violent.and there is no cure.Just heavy medication or sedation to control the patient.

Jani's parents said in Oprah's interview that Jani was special since she was a baby. She would only sleep 3-4hours a day.As Jani started growing up, she would have imaginary friends.Imaginary friends that told her to do bad stuff!Like hit your baby brother or commit suicide(in Jani's case).And she's only 7! anyway her sick imaginary friends stay with her until today. And I just can't imagine what it is like, to be separated from you brother, to have one parent constantly by your side to make sure you don't do anything dangerous and to not go to school like other children do. A normal life growing up, I think is most important for every child.It will define who you are when you grow up.

Reading this article has definitely proved to me that I am not cut out to be a freakin psychologist! And thank god at that! I think, in the end if I were to become a shrink, I'd be the loony one.

If you want to read more about Jani, head over to Oprah's page.In the mean time here are a few pictures of her.

O is for Oprah

So guess what I did just now?

Remember my previous blog about how I was unsatisfied with my life and what I'm doing now?Well I really wasn't kidding, I do want a change, something different, something new...SOMETHING. and I know what I'm good at and what I can do.It's just a matter of courage and timing. So I went over to Oprah's page.For those of you who do not know who Oprah is, you can open a new tab and google her name. Pip pip! And I read this awesome article about this 7 year old Schizo which I will blog about later on.Anyway I decided to email Oprah.Why not eh?It is her last season and the chance of her reading my email is 1 to a million so I did it.I sent her an email regarding how much she has inspired me and about some other stuffs too.Doing that, I am surprised to feel positive, relief even at the fact that I actually had the courage to do it.I was beginning to feel as though I had none at all these days. Shortly afterwards, I signed up to become a member of Oprah's website. For every member, you have to customize your own profile, the same thing like Facebook..etc..but with Oprah now, I have to create my very own O Dream Board. Basically, it's a board that I will have to create to envision my best life.So as to make sure I have my goals ad target clear and I am committed to achieving them. I haven't even started my O Dream Board as there is so much more things I have to sort out in my head. I don't even know where to begin.But just for the record, I know this is worth blogging for.

Interested? Visit http://www.oprah.com

Obsessed

I might be the last person on earth to have watched Supernatural but after being convinced by my boyfriend that this was a great watch, i succumbed and gathered all 5 seasons.And now, obviously i am hooked. I don't know whether it's because of Jared Padalecki's tight abs or Jensen Ackles' smoldering eyes but had the producers chosen any other actors, i would be sure that I wouldn't be able to digest albeit believe the whole 'God has disappeared, bad angels, good demons, fairies and wishing well' bullshit.BUT because of these two actors I am inclined,along with a million other people,to believe the storyline. Easy how the mind can be distracted and confused eh?

ANYWAY, some candy for the eyes gals?

:)

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Funny, but I couldn't find any good pictures of Jared with his shirt on.hmm..

Daisies or Lilies? Neither.

A makeover can achieve a lot i gather.

Thus the change :)

My writing skills really does need to be sharpened. My grammar also.

One of my regret in life is that I listened to my parents.It wasn't their fault.I am confident they wanted me to succeed in the only way they saw. I think people my age have parents that want their children to go after 'their' dream of being a lawyer or an accountant or the one everyone loves the most to become, say it with me everybody, a DOCTOR. yes, well we should seriously stop thinking one way.stop thinking that everything has to be done according to the rules.It seriously shouldn't. Our ambitions can come from all directions.Regardless of whether our future jobs really make money or not, if we love what we do we wouldn't have to work a day of our messed up life.If we're good at it because we love it so much the finances will come rolling in soon enough.trust me.

ANYWAY, before my rambling goes on any further i only wanted to point out that i wish i had enrolled myself in some kind of a writing class or workshop. writing and creating things from my mind is the only decent thing i can do nowadays. I am confident that what I need is some guidance and advice from professionals.

This thought has crossed my mind several times throughout the semester holidays as i look back at all my stories and novellas i had written since i was 13 years old.all stashed in my hard drive.Only a few selected(unlucky) friends have read them.oh well.

I should be grateful.I am pursuing my degree in Estate Management.However so, I cannot put aside this lingering doubt at the back of my head telling me to drop this course all together (even if it saves me a lot of time) and get a degree in writing!

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As if i can even begin to tell my parents that.

I best suck it up and get through another 1 and half year of this degree.